Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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