hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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