Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I will be naked everywhere
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize