if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
