I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
