i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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