And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
