I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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