Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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