Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
