Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
