I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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