I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
