never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize