Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
