roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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