The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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