He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Apparently you make a good broom.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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