I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
