great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
