yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
