I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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