I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
