It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
