Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
