Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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