never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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