Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
