Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Randomize
