I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
