You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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