I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize