i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I need a beard to bite.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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