At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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