There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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