Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
