I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
