I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
