Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
