Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My friends, they love my intelligence
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
