I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The struggles of a small town man whore
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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