I hate all girls vehemently.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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