So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
