you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
