Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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