yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
