wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
