well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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