we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
