Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
