Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
