are you still at the devil's house?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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