I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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