It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
