this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Too much gin, very little bucket
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize