I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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