A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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