he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
