rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
