What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I forgot how hot balto sounded
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
