Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
