im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
