What a fucking waste of an outfit
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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