the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize