What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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