would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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