Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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